Posts Tagged ‘Childcare’

Overdue

Now, if you’ve never had to take money from your children, let me tell you, it is not an enjoyable task. You feel low, dirty and basically like you’re some kind of hopped up addict who needs to steal from her kids in order to score her next fix. It’s ugly, even when you’re doing it for the right reasons.

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Make my day: feedback from a recent contest winner

This was the first thing I saw on my email this morning — a good way to start the day! Dena Hahlen of Phoenix won a set of tickets to Sea Life Arizona during a recent contest we hosted online. She sent this picture with the following message: “My family and I would like to [...]

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Back to school roller derby

Lace up your skates, moms. It’s time to hit the aisles and go for the gold. If you’re fast and tough, you might actually secure that Justice League lunch box and water bottle your kid’s been pining for all year. Show no mercy. It’s back to school time.

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Kids say the darndest things.

The mom at my gym told me there were water spots on her son’s letter and that he’d circled and labeled them “tears.” Can there be anything more painful than that?

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I’m gonna make it after all…really?

I want to be the June Cleaver of sitcom fame. But I’m not. I’m more a child-laden version of Mary Richards from the Mary Tyler Moore Show. Imagine me, in the middle of a snowy Minnesota roadway, tossing my infamous beret into the air and trying to catch it victoriously while also reigning in two impish little creatures who think it’s just fun to dart into the street between racing taxi cabs.

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Parents of the world, unite!

When I was growing up, children were supposed to be “seen and not heard.” We did what we were told. We went where our parents decided to go. We ate whatever our mom’s made for dinner. And if we didn’t like it, we were “given something to really cry about.”

Cut to: a generation later and the whole model has been turned upside down…

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Shhh! I’m trying to listen to myself!

But somehow I conveniently forgot about brain genetics when I decided to have children. I guess if I’d realized that my sweet young babies would one day grow up to battle the same mental demons that have pursued me with such unwavering commitment all these years, I might have thought twice about having them.

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The makings of a meltdown.

1.) I am late for everything. This is a flaw that I seem unable to overcome. I feel badly about myself for my tardiness. But when it negatively impacts my children, I feel even worse. Translated, the message I get in this type of situation is:
I SUCK AS A MOTHER!!!!

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Why I eat grapefruit

I eat grapefruit because I’m selfish. It’s a repugnant realization. But I have to be straight. I mean, if you’re not gonna be honest with yourself, how can anyone else believe anything you say?

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A letter to unappreciated mamas everywhere

I am Debra’s husband. In honor of Mother’s day, I am giving Debra the day off by writing her column. Regular readers of this blog may wonder how much of the outrageousness she writes about is true. Well, living with her is a little like living in a sitcom with Laura Petrie.

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