Seven years ago at Foster Arizona we opened our first two apartments to young adults that were transitioning out of foster care. I am being completely honest when I say we did not know what we were doing. We knew there was a need, we believed we could help and that was enough to start us on this journey. What I did not expect was the influence the young adults would have on me. Here are some lessons I’ve learned along the way:
Perception is Not Reality
According to the Dave Thomas Foundation, fifty-one percent of Americans believe that children in foster care are delinquents. This is not the case. The reality is foster children have a deep desire to connect and be seen by their community, but they don’t know how to do so. They have experienced hurt and disappointment by many adults in their life, leaving them feeling as if the weight of the world is theirs alone to carry. It is our duty to take some of that weight off of their shoulders.
They Want to Make a Difference
When we started our housing project, I was focused on what we could do for the young adults who needed our help, but I did not think they would want to help others as well. One night, I was stuck with a dead battery and did not know what to do. I called Angel, one of our young adults, and he came and got my car started. At that moment I realized that we are a community that supports each other. Young adults volunteer at our events. We see them stepping up and supporting others and, in turn, we see them gain the confidence that they too can make a difference.
They Don’t Know What They Don’t Know
One of the phrases that often rings out in my home is “When you know better, you do better.” Young adults are in a space in life where they are learning. They are taking risks and making mistakes. And it is up to us to help guide and support them along their journey, so they achieve the best version of themselves.
They Need Basic Support
Young adults transitioning out of foster care need basic life skills support. It is essential for them to learn what to wear to an interview, how to cook and manage money. Giving back to the next generation does not have to be a big lift. It can often be found in teaching little things that build confidence in these young adults to take on big challenges.
Each One is Lovable
Too many days I sit with a young adult and wish they saw in themselves what we see in them. We have yet to meet a young adult that has come through our doors that does not hold huge potential. They are uniquely gifted and so very special. In recovery groups, I love hearing them say, “Let us love you until you can love yourself.” At Foster Arizona, we hope to be that safe place where they can feel loved and accepted as they step into loving themselves.
