AD/HD is real. It is the most common neurobiological disorder affecting school-aged children of all races and cultures. A common misperception in our society is that AD/HD is over-diagnosed and over-treated. The fact is that five to eight percent of school-aged children are affected. Multiply that by the number of family members and classmates and teachers who come in contact with these children on a daily basis, and you may imagine the number of lives that are impacted.
Perhaps you know someone who says, “Yeah, but everybody gets fidgety sometimes,” or “It’s pretty common to have difficulty sitting still during something boring,” or ‘Who can pay attention to something serious when there are fun things going on?” All of those statements are true! True for some of the people some of the time. For those with AD/HD that is their experience ALL of the time.
It’s not malarkey.
AD/HD is recognized as an impairing disorder by: U.S. Department of Education, National Institute of Health, U. S. Congress, U.S. Center for Disease Control and Prevention, U.S. Surgeon General, all major medical, psychiatric, psychological, and educational associations.
So WHY doesn’t everybody get it? I don’t know. I’d like to say that I don’t care…but really I do. That’s why I joined CHADD, and trained to be a Certified Parent to Parent (P2P) Teacher. There is so much at stake when we consider how self-esteem withers, how impulsivity leads to mischief that leads to dangerous and life-altering behaviors, how friendships are lost over misunderstanding of social cues, how grades plummet cutting off chances of success, how families fracture under the stress.
AD/HD can manifest in three ways: 1. Predominantly Inattentive, 2. Predominantly Hyperactive-Impulsive, and 3. Combined Type.
Think of it like this. How many people with AD/HD does it take to change a light-bulb?
Type 1 asks , “What light-bulb?”
Type 2 says, “I meant to change that light-bulb, but I saw the newspaper on the kitchen table and the Home Section caught my eye with that interesting DIY article about living in small spaces, and I took their advice and rearranged the furniture, and when I moved the lamp I noticed that it wouldn’t turn on so I checked to see if it was plugged in and it was but I didn’t have the patience to trouble-shoot it anymore, so I sat down at the kitchen table to have a cup of coffee and then I remembered that I meant to change that light bulb.”
Type 3 says “Maybe I’ll change it today, and maybe I won’t, it all depends on whether I notice that it’s out or not, or whether I’ll get around to it if I don’t get distracted by the newspaper; you just never know.”
Most articles about AD/HD begin by describing the hyperactive type, the kids who are easy to point out because they never sit still, are always breaking things because they never slow down enough to pay attention to their surroundings nor to instructions. They are the squeaky wheel.
But, I am going to take a different approach and talk about the INATTENTIVE type first. These are the kids who don’t pay attention to details and make careless mistakes and lose things. They don’t appear to listen but rather look like they are day-dreaming. They avoid getting involved with tasks that require sustained mental effort. They struggle to follow instructions and to stay organized, are easily distracted and are forgetful about routine activities. They may be creative and well-intentioned, but their rooms are filled with half-completed projects. Their backpacks over-flow with papers that they don’t know whether to take home or take to school. They appear unmotivated, slow to get moving, and are typically so quiet that you may not notice them in the room.
The inattentive type individuals often fall through cracks of our education system precisely because they appear compliant with the requirement to sit still and mind your own business in the classroom. One of the most difficult things for them is to stay alert and to be engaged with what is going on around them. While the teacher is busy corralling the other students, this one is gazing out the window (oops, our classrooms in Phoenix don’t have windows, but you get the picture).
This is the child who exasperates you because you know they can do better if he/she just puts his/her mind to it. What a waste of potential you are witnessing. How is it possible that this child related to you is so LAZY!? What do you mean you don’t know what ‘clean your room’ means?! Why can’t you get anywhere on time, don’t you know how disrespectful that is?! I already told you yesterday what to do today, just do it.
Are you trying to embarrass me in front of your grandparents, or to make your teachers think you come from a home where parents don’t care if you do homework? You need to learn responsibility and to take pride in your schoolwork. Who will ever hire you if you can’t be organized enough to take care of your self?
To the parents and teachers who themselves do not have AD/HD, all of the ‘shortcomings’ described above may seem like an assortment of character flaws and deliberate or disrespectful misbehaviors. Here now is the message: Your student/child doesn’t like it very much either that he/she is constantly chided, reminded, disciplined for behavior that he/she just doesn’t have the natural ability that you do to get everything done as efficiently as you expect. They do want your approval, and they wish people thought they were smart and reliable. And they wish that they felt better about themselves.
Hope, there is hope. Once they (and you) understand that they (and you) are not alone nor at fault, progress and healing are possible. The first step is to recognize that the constellation of behaviors is the outer manifestation of the internal turmoil that is AD/HD. The good news is, it’s manageable! Someday you might even catch yourself saying, “Wow, what an ADHD moment, instead of ’blonde’ or ‘senior’ (neither of which is PC!).
Well, that’s it for today….there’s a light-bulb somewhere that needs changing.
~ Debbie