Zach Murset is a typical 13-year-old with a busy schedule. Awake by 5 a.m., he hurries through his list of chores before breakfast. After...

If you only had six words, who would you be? Can you hone a description of yourself to that fine a point? Without cliche? Without limiting all that you are?

You know how you always have to verify a weirdly distorted word before you can get to a certain website or access some personal account information? Well, half the time the word's so flippin’ distorted that unless you yourself were tripping on LSD, there’s no way to distinguish most of the letters. I seriously spent like 15 minutes this afternoon staring at what I thought was the word “paramour.” Apparently it wasn’t...

We live in this neatly polished Scottsdale community. What bothers me most about it, is the neatness and the polish. It’s just not who we are. But you’ve heard all the reasons why we make the compromises we make; “it’s a beautiful, safe, gated community where the kids can ride their bikes and play across the street at the neighbors.” Only problem is that our kids don’t ride bicycles and in the decade we’ve been here, we haven’t met a single neighbor -- until now.

The other day I was talking to this friend of mine who has personality dysmorphia. She honestly sees herself as reliable, reflective, altruistic and uniquely sensitive. She is, in fact, a thoughtless, self-obsessed flake who spends her life ruminating over inane dramas that truly don't even exist.

I made it through the winter holidays and I don’t plan to commemorate Cupid by caving. I refuse to buy a Nintendo DS, iPod...

My youngest son asked his dad how much money he makes. Mark, as usual, came back in his standard unflappable manner with, “More than five dollars and less than enough.”

A friend once sent me an email asking how much I helped my sons with their writing assignments. "They surely sought out and valued your...

When we started providing online content in a blog format that allowed reader comment, we had to decide how quickly we wanted that feedback...

i can’t even return things i buy that i ultimately decide i don’t want. I’m not kidding.I never take anything back. I throw out moldy Trader Joe’s produce. I donate defective electronic equipment with tags still in tact. I wont even return clothes that don’t fit me.

I mean, just like the ridiculous warnings on baby strollers to “remove child before folding,” or the printed caveat on irons to “never press clothing while being worn,” or the label on my cardboard car sun shield, to “not drive with sun shield in place,” someone somewhere must have committed these inane acts...

Poor parents. We’re so misunderstood. We’re just trying to do the right thing and protect our kids from a devastating legume and then someone, well, a lot of someones actually, comes out and throws a bunch of annoying facts around and we have to face the truth. We are responsible for the plethora of peanut anaphylaxis plaguing our offspring.

"I’m a post-modern feminist,” I quipped. “I believe that chivalry and feminism can peacefully co-exist. Besides, I’ve never advocated that women should have equal rights. Rather, it’s always been my belief that we are entitled to special rights."

What’s up with charities this year? Has anyone noticed that everyone who’s asking for handouts this yuletide season has conditions? “Please drop off any unwrapped, newly purchased, non-age specific, genderless toys by December 15th.” Ok, seriously?

Yesterday my eldest son got electrocuted at Fry's Electronics. The irony of that is not wasted on me...

“4 out of 5 Dentists recommend sugarless gum for their patients who chew gum.” Do you remember that slogan? What does that mean? That one out of every 5 dentists recommend sugar-saturated Bubble Yum over the sugar-free alternative?