How to Stay Connected During Breaks
Summer vacation conjures images of carefree days with a welcome change in pace. Parents may dream of breaks from pickup and drop off lines, homework, and tightly packed schedules. As the temperatures warm, we look forward to catching up on sleep, spending more time with friends and family, and planning vacations. The surprising reality is that for many kids, summer can quietly become one of the loneliest times of the year.
The school year provides a structure with clear expectations that positively challenge children cognitively, behaviorally, and socially. Kids have daily peer interactions, structured routines, and access to sports and clubs for special interests. Saying goodbye at the end of the school year can create a mix of emotions. Parents might expect a mix of excitement, relief, and even some sadness.
An emotion that is often missed is loneliness. Tweens and teens are especially at risk for increases in loneliness due to social connection being a central part of healthy social and emotional development. Parents often balance caring for children while working and managing other responsibilities. Feelings of isolation can creep in quickly with long stretches of unstructured time.
In my work as a therapist at Denova Collaborative Health, I see how shifts in routine can affect children’s mood and overall confidence. The good news is that parents can take simple steps to help kids stay connected and increase emotional support during the break.
Contributing Factors to Loneliness:
- Loss of structure and routine. School provides much more than academics. It offers daily peer interaction, predictable routines, and a sense of belonging. When those elements disappear for two or three months, some kids can feel disconnected from their social world.
- Disconnection from friendships. Social relationships are a key part of identity. Especially for teens and tweens that need consistent social interaction for their development. Without regular peer interaction, they may develop worries about being left out or concerns of where they fit socially.
- Changes in nutrition. It can be difficult for parents to provide balanced nutrition over the summer without the support of school resources. The school day provides consistent access to balanced meals throughout the day.
- Changes in sleep. Although one of the perks of summer is staying up late and sleeping in, changes to sleep routines can have a negative impact. Especially if your child is sleeping too little or too much over breaks.
How to Detect Loneliness:
Loneliness does not always show up as we might expect.
- Look for small behavior changes. Spending more time alone, withdrawing from activities your child usually enjoys or lacking motivation.
- How your child is using technology. A warning sign of loneliness can be relying heavily on phones and social media for connection.
- Change in mood. Increases in irritability, boredom, or sudden ups and downs in mood can also signal that a child is missing meaningful interaction with peers.
Kids often don’t know the signs and can feel embarrassed admitting when they do experience loneliness. Changes in mood and behavior can be mistaken for being moody or acting out.
Ideas to Keep Your Child Connected
Do not feel pressure to schedule every moment of the summer. Instead, focus on building small consistent structure to help prevent long stretches of isolation.
Ways to help:
- Label emotions. Don’t be afraid to have open conversations with your child about loneliness. Knowing what being lonely can look like and how it can feel is an important part of building their communication around emotions. This fosters open communication between kids and parents.
- Schedule consistent events. Meeting a friend at the park, planning a video call, attending a community program, or engaging in a sport or hobby. Events to look forward to can go a long way.
- Look for resources. Utilize free meals provided by your child’s school district, check out culture passes from your local library for local museums and events. Search for discounted camps and sports through your city.
- Offer to help make connections. Sometimes kids simply need help making the first plan. Offer to help your child invite a friend over, schedule a call, or arrange a group activity. This can reduce pressure your child may feel initiating meetups.
- Prioritize family connections. Simple rituals like cooking dinner together, going for evening walks, or playing a game together create regular opportunities for conversation and emotional support.
Turning Summer into a Confidence Builder
Summer is a great time for kids to build independence and social confidence. Trying a new activity such as volunteering or joining a local group helps kids practice peer interactions and communication skills over summer.
These experiences can make transitioning back to school easier and help kids feel more confident about reconnecting with classmates.
A Reminder for Parents
Your mental health matters, too. Increases in parental stress can occur in summertime as you balance caregiver and other responsibilities. Model for your children taking breaks, practicing a hobby, or engaging in selfcare. Staying in tune with your own emotions can help you catch subtle changes in your child’s behavior. It also fosters opportunities to connect and prevent loneliness before it takes hold.
With a little planning, summer can be a time for rest as well as building friendships, confidence and resilience that will support your child throughout their lifetime. If you notice your child is not showing improvement once loneliness has set in, please consult with your child’s doctor to determine if more specialized support is needed through behavioral health agencies like Denova Collaborative Health.
Bethany Smith, MC, LPC is an independently licensed counselor at Denova Collaborative Health. She has a master’s in counseling from Arizona State University. Bethany provides individual, family, and group therapy targeted at supporting kids and their families. Common modalities used to foster change are family systems, motivational interviewing, cognitive behavioral therapy, and acceptance and commitment therapy. Outside of work, Bethany enjoys being outdoors, and spending time with family in Montana.
