Being a new mom can be overwhelming. Not only has she spent the last 9 months growing a baby and dealing with all the aches and pains that can come with a pregnancy, but then she has to face labor and childbirth.
Once that part is over and she finally has that little baby in her arms, her body still has a lot of recovering to do, not to mention all the new changes that await: sleep deprivation, feedings, and getting to know her baby.
Friends and family are eager to come over and meet the newest little bundle, but the constant visitors along with all the other things she’s dealing with can feel like a lot.
If you know someone who recently had a baby, here are some things that could be really helpful to send along as a congratulatory gift or to do if you come over to meet their baby:
Meal Services
It’s not uncommon for neighbors, friends, or family to stop by with a hot casserole and bring dinner to the sleep-deprived couple. But unless you know the couple’s dietary needs and preferences, that can sometimes get a little tricky.
Instead, try gifting them a meal prep service where they can pick out and have ready-made meals that just need to be heated in the microwave delivered right to their doorstep. Some companies to check out include Freshly, Factor, or Sun Basket.
Restaurant Gift Cards
Along the same lines as giving meal services (it’s likely they’ll just be too tired to feel like cooking) you can also send along a gift card to a nearby restaurant, preferably one that offers delivery and/or take out options.
You can also get gift cards to popular food delivery services such as GrubHub, DoorDash, and Ubereats and allow them to pick out what restaurant they’d like to get food delivered from.
Cleaning
My husband and I joked that we were going to make people have to earn a chance to see our new baby by doing a chore for us. Want to hold him? You have to clean our kitchen first. Kidding. (Kind of).
But for real, when a newborn enters the house, things like dishes and laundry can pile up and cleaning can feel like the last thing you want to do when the baby is finally asleep.
If you know the family well (you’re a relative or close friend), you could always offer to help with a household chore while you’re there. Just be careful not to ask as they might feel weird accepting the help. Instead, just bring your cleaning supplies and get to work–no questions asked.
Otherwise, you could give the gift of cleaning services. You could pay for a one-time cleaning or set them up for a few weekly or monthly cleanings.
Oftentimes family and friends come to visit and just want to see the baby, which is understandable–they ARE adorable. But, PLEASE don’t come over and offer to hold the baby while I do laundry, empty the dishwasher, or sweep the floor–you might not be welcomed back! This 4th trimester is all about bonding with a new baby–not cleaning the house.
Plan a small outing to get them out of the house
Sometimes as a new mom or dad you can start to feel cooped up in the house and like you’ve completely lost your social life.
While they may not feel like going out like they used to, having a chance to get out of the house and take a break for a little bit can be rejuvenating.
This could include getting a pedicure, going for a walk, or grabbing breakfast or lunch together while someone else (the spouse, a grandparent, or friend) watches the baby.
But don’t be offended if mom says no. She might not be ready to leave the baby behind yet!
Ask how she’s doing, not just about the baby
When you call, text, or visit, make sure you ask how the mom is doing and don’t just focus on the baby. If her partner has gone back to work, she might be feeling overwhelmed, lonely, or stressed and just needs another adult to talk to. Here are some things you can ask to check in with her:
- How are you feeling?
- Being a new mom can be a big transition, how are you handling it?
- Do you want to tell me your birth story?
- Is there anything I can do to help you right now?
Offer to watch the baby if she needs to rest or take a shower. Offer to run to the store if she needs something. Before coming over, offer to pick up her favorite coffee, snack or meal.
