When families first get pregnant, the focus is often on doctor’s appointments, baby registries, and dealing with the common pregnancy discomforts. One important thing that many families forget to discuss is Visitor Boundaries.
Why are boundaries important?
When someone comes to visit after you have your baby, setting boundaries can set you up for success to make sure you have the support and time you need to heal and bond with your baby.
Many people want to help and provide support during that postpartum time, but often don’t know exactly how to do so. Setting boundaries is the best way to share that!
When should you talk about boundaries?
The best time to talk about boundaries with your family and friends is now! It’s never too early to discuss how you want to be supported in the postpartum time. This can start by talking with your partner about a few things:
- How do we want to be supported?
- How can we communicate that to our support team?
- What are some things a visitor could help with?
- How long do we want visitors to stay?
- When do we want people to start visiting? (i.e. while giving birth, 2
- weeks postpartum, 6 weeks, etc.)
- What will we do and say if our boundaries aren’t being respected?
What are some things visitors can help with?
- Household tasks: Tidying, dishes, caring for animals, etc.
- Nourishment: Bringing food of any kind, bringing by a cup of coffee, grocery shopping or pickups
- Emotional support: Allowing space for processing pregnancy and birth, bringing laughter into the home, etc.
When should people start coming to visit?
This is entirely up to you, and it will look different for every family! Take some time to think about who will be visiting postpartum and when you would like them to come see you. Reach out to them and share:
That you consider them a part of your support team and you’re excited for them to support you and your growing family!
- When you would like them to visit.
- What some of your expectations are.
- What they can help with when they come.
Clear and direct communication is often best in these situations. By having these conversations early, it allows for people to adjust to the idea of supporting you. This also helps by making sure you will have visitors spaced out. Many times a newly postpartum family will be overwhelmed by the number of visitors in the first few weeks and then lack support in the weeks that follow.
Having a new baby is exciting, and your friends and family likely want to be a part of that celebration with you. Just remember, you are the new parents, and it’s okay to set some boundaries.
If you’re looking for more ways to advocate for yourself, your body, and your baby as you prepare for birth, check out the fun and positive classes from Dare to Birth, which will help you learn the skills and knowledge you need to feel BRAVE, INFORMED, and PRESENT through pregnancy, childbirth, and the fourth trimester.
Visit daretobirth.com to learn more.
