In the years between birth and early childhood, there is a changing landscape of nap needs, and as the child transitions through the decreasing numbers of naps, it can be normal to wonder if your child is sleeping too much, not enough, or if they are done napping altogether. Here are some things to consider as your child transitions away from napping:
What’s normal and healthy for day sleep?
- Many children transition to 3 naps a day by 6 months old.
- Many children go down to 2 naps a day around 9 months old.
- A common time to see a child naturally transition to 1 nap a day is around 18 months, but it can happen earlier or later.
- Many daycare centers and preschools put the 12-month-olds into a toddler room with a 1 nap schedule, but that doesn’t work for every child, and they may feel sleep deprived until their brain and body catches up to the imposed schedule.
How do nap transitions work?
As the hippocampus matures, (a small, but complex area of the brain that helps with learning and memory), homeostasis is raised (the body’s ability to maintain a stable internal environment despite external changes) and there is less need for a nap. Simply put: As the memory areas of the brain develop, there is less need for frequent sleep.
How do you know if your child is ready to transition out of their last remaining nap?
They’re ready when their hippocampus has developed sufficiently. Wouldn’t it be cool if we could put all the little kids into a brain scanner to check if their hippocampus is big enough yet to stop napping? Instead, we watch and observe as they evolve.
Watch to see if:
- They don’t get emotionally dysregulated when they don’t nap.
- They don’t act tired.
- They don’t have that “missed the nap meltdown.”
- They don’t fall asleep in the middle of their lunch in their highchair. (If they do, take a picture, that’s gold!)
- They act emotionally regulated.
- They are more resilient when life is imperfect, or if they don’t get their way.
- They act happy and rested throughout the day.
When do toddlers typically drops a nap?
A common time frame for toddlers to transition from habitual napping to non-habitual napping is sometime between 3.5 and 4.5 years old, with many children being done with their daytime nap by 5 years old.
This nap transition may start out with the child needing a shorter nap. And then you find they only need the nap 4 out of 7 days a week. The other non-napping days are spent with some quiet time.
Quiet Time – A Nap Alternative:
You can introduce quiet time by not making it a big deal if your child doesn’t fall asleep. Let them know that it’s ok to stay awake and hang out with their favorite doll or stuffed animal. Within 20 minutes, if they need to sleep, they will fall asleep, if they don’t, then they won’t (if you have the timing right and nothing else has changed).
That 20-60 minutes of quiet time may be on their bed alone in low light with a quiet toy like a teddy bear, or picture book, (not a screened device) or with a parent/caregiving sitting nearby reading a book.
Or it may turn out to be a long snuggle with mom, or quiet ride in the car. Then, the schedule may flip where the number of napping days in a week becomes less than the number of quiet time days, until eventually it’s all quiet time. And then, when the time is right, the need for quiet time can disappear.
Troubleshooting:
What if my child doesn’t want to do quiet time? Some children resist quiet time and are just ready to go. They won’t sleep, they won’t lay in their bed for some quiet time, they just want to go, go, go. This is also normal. But if you see a melt down or some form of emotional dysregulation, maybe you just have the timing wrong, and your child still needs some day sleep but also needs some increased parental attention.
Is there such a thing as too much day sleep? Yes. When you observe that your 3-year-old child is having a hard time falling asleep at night, and their nap is 2 hours long, that can be a good time to play with the length of the nap. You can try a nap limit of 90 minutes, or even just 60 minutes. Or you can look at the timing to make sure the nap isn’t starting too late in the day. For example, a toddler who wakes at 6 or 7 a.m. may be ready for a nap by 12 or 1 p.m.
When do you get “down time” if your child no longer naps? Since the range of when a toddler may stop needing a nap during the day is often somewhere between 3-5 years old, what do you do with them during the day? When do you get your own daytime down time? A stay-at-home or work-from-home parent may find it relaxing to try meeting up with other parents with similarly aged children with “picnic in the park play dates,” getting outside, letting them become your shadow as you run errands or stop at the grocery store.
A toddler that gets the right amount of day sleep for their brain development will usually have an easier time falling asleep and sleep all through the night. This gives parents their own opportunity for a good night’s sleep with the evening off as their child sleeps their 10-12 hours of night sleep and every evening can feel like a mini stay-at-home date night.
Tracy Spackman helps facilitate and host the annual Sleeposium with the Child Sleep Institute and works one on one with parents who have sleep challenged children at GetQuietNights.com
