If I love myself—my relationship will improve. Tell me more, tell me more!
A loving relationship depends upon loving yourself first.
According to renowned relationship and spiritual guru Dr. Wayne Dyer, “If you love yourself, you can give love away. You can’t give away what you don’t have.”
In that case, how do we become hopelessly devoted to ourselves?
We develop love for ourselves through self-care. Self-care is our single most important action of caring for ourselves, and the gateway to loving others fully.
Many of us place self-care aside to focus on ‘more pressing and important things’. We tell ourselves we don’t have enough time.
“I’m so busy with work. I need to pick up the kids. I have so many errands.”
If this sounds like you, you are not alone! But now is the time for the summer sun; something’s begun!
The good news is we assume self-care will take much longer than it actually does. Many acts of self-care only takes a few short minutes, i.e., “tiny habits,” such as:
- Practicing a 5-minute mindfulness meditation
- Savoring a cup of warm tea
- Rocking a 15-minute workout
- Reading two pages in a book per day
- Listening to a 10-minute inspiring podcast
- Journaling for 1-minute per day
I once believed that a “real workout” required an entire hour of exercise. So, I hardly exercised. But, 15 minutes? That I could do! I’ve kept that self-care commitment come rain or shine for years now. Reading a whole book seemed impossible with my schedule, but I have a whole new perspective since committing to reading two pages per day.
What daily “tiny habits” could you choose to show love for yourself? Remember to choose self-care habits that are so small you can always make them happen.
Taking action can become even more powerful than the action itself. Ultimately the love you cultivate within yourself will benefit your relationship.
Take great care of yourself this summer and just see how your relationship benefits, and oh, those summer nights!
Healthy Love Habits is Raising Arizona Kids’s monthly relationship column for learning simple habits to create the healthy and loving connection you desire and deserve.
Karen Aurit, LAMFT, is Director and Co-Founder of The Aurit Center for Divorce Mediation in Scottsdale. Karen is a Licensed Associate Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in mindfulness. Karen is married to Michael Aurit, and they live in Phoenix with their three and five-year-old daughters. To learn more, visit auritmediation.com