A Dad’s Perspective on Homebirth
When my wife initially tossed around the idea of a home birth, I had little experience with birth in general—only one of my own biologically, whom we last minute opted for a birth center due to high insurance costs at a hospital. A relatively easy birthing process (at least from my perspective) that only lasted about four hours—and home about four hours after that.
When my wife was pregnant with our third baby, she suggested a home birth because we no longer had a local support system from family. I immediately shot that down despite knowing it was not much different than our birth center. In fact, we’d be even closer to a great hospital. That labor went even quicker—with our baby arriving less than 90 minutes after we arrived. We ended up waking our two sleeping kids and bringing them with us! A planned home birth would have been a lot less stressful.
Our family relocated from the Phoenix area to Show Low when my wife was pregnant with our fourth baby, and although we had started care with our birth center in the Valley, we didn’t have that option near our new home. Everyone knew driving 3.5 hours to our birth center in labor probably wasn’t a realistic plan. My wife again suggested a home birth and I hesitantly agreed – that seemed to be our best option considering her quick labor and deliveries. We decided to stick with our midwife and add in a travel fee to the overall cost.
We began to prepare—a birth pool, bleach, stacks of towels and blankets, medicinal herbs, a birth kit, and everything else we might need. Despite my creeping doubts, my wife remained calm and confident about the idea of welcoming our baby right in the bedroom of our 1,300-square-foot home.
Winter came quickly, and with it, the real possibility that a snowstorm could close the roads and prevent our midwife from reaching us in time. At her 38-week appointment in Phoenix, my wife was already nearly 5 centimeters dilated—labor was clearly approaching. Her midwife wisely told her to head straight home and followed soon after. They checked in on us around 10 p.m., rented an Airbnb nearby, and waited for the call.
In the stillness of the early morning, while the house slept, my wife quietly called our birth team. Breathing between steady contractions, she gently let them know it was time—she needed their support. Not long after, our fourth baby, a beautiful boy, was born in the peaceful warmth of our bedroom, just before a massive snowstorm swept through and closed the main roads. It felt like divine timing, a true blessing. That birth was the moment I understood the profound joy of home birth. All my worries melted away, replaced by an indescribable sense of peace. There’s nothing quite like holding your newborn in your own bed, mere minutes after their arrival, surrounded by the comfort and safety of home.
When we found out we were expecting our fifth baby, we learned that our beloved midwife had sold her birth center and retired to Tennessee. That meant finding new care, and we were fortunate to connect with a wonderful midwife from Payson—about a 90-minute drive from our home, on a good day.
At exactly 38 weeks, my wife mentioned to our midwife that she was having a bit of spotting, though contractions were barely noticeable. I was volunteering as a bartender at our local Elks Lodge while she was home with our four boys. Knowing how quickly my wife tends to deliver, our midwife didn’t hesitate—she got in the car and started the 90-minute drive right away.
My wife told me to stay put until things were more certain, thinking it would be a few hours at least. But things changed fast. Before long, I was sending everyone home and calling last call well before our usual closing time. Thankfully, everyone at the Lodge—who truly feel like family—urged me to get home as quickly as possible.
Just 59 minutes after both our midwife and I arrived, our sweet baby girl made her entrance into the world. She was born peacefully in the comfort of our home, and within moments we were snuggled together in bed, soaking in every perfect newborn detail.
Another swift, beautiful birth reminded me once again that this is exactly where our babies are meant to be born.
Sometimes I worry about the possibility of complications, but our midwives have been incredibly diligent in caring for both mom and baby. I trust that if any concern ever arose, they would immediately defer care as needed — and they’re fully equipped to handle most emergencies themselves. Thankfully, our births have gone smoothly with only minimal complications.
Watching my wife bring our children into the world fills me with an overwhelming mix of emotions. I worry about her pain, the baby’s safety, and the helplessness of knowing there’s little I can do in those intense moments. Yet amid the whirlwind—our babies always seem to come so quickly that I hardly have time to dwell on those thoughts—there’s a profound calm that radiates from her. That quiet strength grounds me, reminding me that everything is unfolding exactly as it should.
