HomeArticlesSupporting Your Newborn through your Divorce or Separation

Supporting Your Newborn through your Divorce or Separation

New parents who separate or divorce can feel a wide range of emotions: incredible joy and love for your beautiful baby while simultaneously processing the separation from your partner.

Choosing to have a positive and cooperative “co-parenting relationship” is the most critical choice for your baby’s long-term emotional well-being.
Here are some key points about newborns to help you create a parenting time schedule that supports everyone:

Consistency is essential for a baby’s development. Create a plan that sticks to a predictable routine when possible.

Frequent contact with both parents creates a secure attachment. Time with both parents every day is ideal for a baby. Most commonly, an infant lives with one parent, and the other parent visits. Daily or twice-daily visits are ideal when baby is first born, but at least every few days are essential.

New research suggests that one or more overnights with the non-residential parent can also be beneficial when steps are taken to ensure the baby feels safe and secure. Parents also may choose to share equal time with infants, rotating every day or two.

Create similar environments for your baby in both houses. Use the same type of crib, soothing sounds, blankets, and similar soothing techniques that work.

Babies benefit when both parents care for them. Babies bond with those who care for them. When one parent visits, welcome them to baby duty! This creates an opportunity to feed, bathe, play with, and soothe the baby. Diaper duty and rocking the baby to sleep are also wonderful bonding opportunities. When both parents act as caregivers early on, babies can form deep bonds with both parents.

Even the youngest babies are aware of how you interact as co-parents. They listen, feel, and store emotional memories—positive and negative. Staying positive and working together to focus on what’s best for your baby is one of the most important things you do as a new parent.

Courageous Co-Parenting is Raising Arizona Kids’s column for separating or divorced parents to learn conflict resolution skills, strategies, and attitudes for healthy co-parenting. These concepts apply to all parents. Please feel free to share the column with your co-parent.

Michael Aurit JD MDRhttp://auritmediation.com
Michael Aurit, JD, MDR, is a Professional Mediator and Co-Founder of The Aurit Center for Divorce Mediation in Scottsdale, Arizona. He is also an Adjunct Professor at The Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution at Pepperdine University School of Law and Arizona State University’s Sandra Day O’Connor School of Law. Michael is married to Karen Aurit, and they live in Phoenix, Arizona, with their two daughters.



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