I grew up in a military family and we moved about every four years or so – at last count it was 10 moves that I can remember. Now as a mom myself, I have moved with my children twice.
As a professional gentle sleep coach, I’ve combined my moving experience and sleep training to prepare some tips to help your child transition to sleeping in a new place.
• Set up the youngest child’s room first. I used to say the kitchen essentials were first, but now I recommend unpacking the room of whoever is the youngest and will need a nap.
• Bring your baby or toddler into the room with you as you unpack. Set up their bed so they can see their familiar things, and most importantly, spend time in their new room. This helps them to adjust to their new surroundings and begin to get a sense of security for this important space.
• Don’t wash the bedding. This is a weird tip, but make up the bed first and put their sheets on as soon as possible (unwashed from their last bedroom). This brings the smells of their old room into the new room.
• Keep sleep essentials accessible. Prepare to have all your sleep essentials ready to follow your typical bedtime routine. Consider including a white noise machine, black out curtains, lovey or teddy bear (if age appropriate), pajamas, and their favorite blanket or sleep sack. I suggest making an overnight style back pack consisting of bedtime essentials which can limit a search through boxes for that important bedtime item.
• Follow your normal routine. Try to follow your bedtime routine the same way you did in your last home and prepare to get your child clean, fed, and ready for bed before you see their sleepy signs to prevent them from getting overtired. It’s harder to fall asleep in a new place if you are overtired.
If your child is having trouble adjusting to the new setting, here are some things you can do:
• Stay with them while they fall asleep in their room to increase their comfort with the new space.
• Tell your child you will check on them every 10 minutes until they fall asleep.
• Show your child where you will be sleeping.
• Run a ribbon or string from the knob of their bed to your wrist. When your child tugs on it, you can give a reassuring tug back.
• Use bridging statements such as, “I will be in my bedroom, and I will see you in the morning, and we will make pancakes in our new kitchen together.” This is a more detailed version of “I will see you later” which brings focus to the next connection that the child will have when you are together again.
When children get frustrated or fearful with new environments, it’s helpful to remember that as a parent, you are their secure place. With your presence and attention your child can be more resilient to change.