Incorporating Wisdom, Love and Legacy
The excitement is palpable when you receive news about the arrival of a new grandbaby. As an After Baby Consultant, one of the many topics I cover while educating grandparents and other family members are current recommendations and the “why” behind them.
If you are a new or even a seasoned grandparent, here are some updates on safety guidelines and gentle reminders I recommend as you visit or help care for your grandbaby:
- Babies now sleep on their backs, not their sides or tummies. Babies who sleep on their tummies or sides may have trouble getting enough oxygen and have trouble waking up.
- Babies stay in rear-facing car seats for two years instead of one, unless they have reached the maximum height or weight limit of their car seat. This is to help prevent neck injuries.
- Babies need to be woken up every two to three hours around the clock to eat in the early days (common for babies to lose weight after delivery and doctors want them back to birth weight by two weeks). Baby’s tummies are small and they metabolize food quickly, so letting them sleep longer is not ideal because they don’t always wake up when hungry.
- Breastfeeding is not always easy and natural. Sometimes it can be very overwhelming for the new mom. Give support and assistance as needed, don’t offer formula right away, but always remember that fed is best.
- Dress the baby as you are dressed plus one additional light layer. Babies can’t say, “I am hot”, nor do they sweat. Remember that we transmit our own body heat to them when cuddling, and overheating a baby can be dangerous.
Additionally, as you eagerly anticipate visiting your new grandchild, here are some things I encourage you to be aware of:
- Wait to be invited, don’t just show up.
- Always ASK, never assume.
- Realize that helping may not be holding/cuddling the new baby. It may look like folding laundry, cooking meals, mopping the floor, setting up the crib, and taking out the trash. If you are comfortable with the area of town, feel free to run errands or go pick up diapers and/or groceries from the store.
- Praise the new parent’s efforts, encourage them, listen, validate how hard it is, and point out how you love when they sing, rock, play, or read to their newborn.
- Wash hands frequently and if warranted (get up to date on vaccinations).
- Communicate, ask questions to understand/clarify, NOT to undermine.
- Respect ALL boundaries and rules, regardless if you agree or not.
- Wait to give advice only when asked; do not dish it out.
- Share pictures, stories, language, cultural traditions, etc.
- Take care of yourself too; you cannot help if you are exhausted or sick.
- Please do not post on any social media platform without asking for permission first.
- Stay in your lane, let go of expectations, and enjoy watching your children raise their baby.
As a grandparent, you have seen and lived through a lot. Now is your time to live in the moment, reminisce, and have fun without the responsibility of being the parent. You truly can be a wealth of knowledge, wisdom, support, and unconditional love as the new family transitions.
