I’ve watched as my own parents became grandparents twice in just 18 months. While I graciously gifted them their very first grandchild (you’re welcome mom and dad!), my brother and sister-in-law gave them their second one just a year and a half later.
Since my family and I live just a short 10 minute drive away from my parents, they see my son (their grandson) a few times a week. However, my brother and his family live in Northern California, making my parents long-distance grandparents as well.
Luckily, we live in a world where technology has made it all the more possible to see our loved ones even when they’re far away. Linda Levin – a grandmother of five who has worked for over four decades as a Child and Family Therapist, shared five tips on how you can stay involved in your grandchildren’s lives even when distance is between you.
- Ask the parents to send you videos. If your grandchildren are involved with an activity such as karate, gymnastics, soccer, or piano lessons, Linda says to ask the parents to record their child at their next practice, performance, or game and send you the video. Then, the next time you talk to your grandchild, ask them open-ended questions about that activity and things you noticed from the video to spark good conversation.
- Become pen pals. Great for school-aged kids and up, whether it’s snail-mail letter writing or emailing back and forth, Linda says becoming pen pals is an ideal way to stay in touch with your grandchildren.
- Play over FaceTime. For younger kids especially, Linda says FaceTime can serve as a great way to interact with your grandkids when you can’t be together in person. “Hold up a book and read it to them, sing a song, or do a puppet show,” she says.
- Plan intentional time together. When you do have the opportunity to visit with your grandchildren, Linda says it’s important to make that time extra special and plan out activities that your grandkids will enjoy. “Ask what their favorite things to do are. Let each child (if there are multiple) pick out one thing to do. Find out what their favorite foods are and cook a meal together. If they love animals, plan to take them to the zoo or go to a pet store. Basically just connect over the things they love,” says Linda.
- Create an annual trip/tradition. Another way Linda recommends you can build a strong relationship with your long-distance grandchildren is to create moments that you can both look forward to each year as an annual tradition. This could include taking a trip together every year (such as Disneyland, visiting a new state, the beach, etc.) Traditions could also include spending certain holidays together or making it a point to be there for birthday celebrations. “You can even make up your own special day – it doesn’t have to be a holiday on the calendar,” says Linda.
In the end, Linda says it’s important to show up however you can and the relationship will follow. “Connect on their level, don’t take everything too personally, learn how to let them teach you something, and be involved. That’s the way to really bond.”
