Supporting Kids Through Loss with Flutter-Bye Road Grief Story Cards
Grief is tough for any child—but for a neurodivergent child, it can feel especially overwhelming. Their grief may not show up in the ways we expect. It might look like changes in demeanor, increased sensitivity, or a return to earlier behaviors.
Here’s a breakdown of understanding grief for neurodivergent children and ways you can support them, including a new play-based tool designed to help.
Why Grief Might Feel Harder for Neurodivergent Children
Kids who are autistic, have ADHD, or experience sensory processing differences already view the world a little differently. When you add grief into the mix, it can intensify their existing challenges. Grief may show up as:
• Difficulty with even small changes in routine
• Trouble identifying or expressing emotions
• Sensory overwhelm
• Repetitive questions or grief-related play
• Seeming “okay” outwardly while struggling inside
• Using scripting or gestalts to process emotions
A Tool to Help to Neurodivergent Children Cope with Grief
The idea for the Flutter-Bye Road Story Cards began when my son, Henry, was diagnosed with autism at age 2.5. Henry didn’t yet use words to communicate. As a grief educator, a mom to a neurodivergent child, and someone who lost my own sibling to suicide, I knew how important it was to create gentle, accessible tools to help children navigate grief.
In 2024, while attending a grief symposium for work, I met Stacey Lamb—an illustrator known for her joyful, child-friendly artwork. That moment sparked an idea: what if there were grief social stories created for kids like Henry?
Soon after, Stacey introduced me to Dr. Ellen Kyriakos, a doctoral student who was both neurodivergent and grieving the loss of both parents. Ellen took on the project as her capstone, and a meaningful collaboration was born!
Using the Flutter-Bye Road Story Cards
The Flutter-Bye Road cards are a soft, supportive way to start conversations about death, change, and feelings. Here are a few simple tips for using them:
• Let your child lead. Go at their pace. It’s okay to pause or return to the cards later.
• Use concrete, simple language. For example: “This butterfly looks really mad. Have you • ever felt that?”
• Offer different ways to respond. Drawing, pointing, using a tablet/AAC, or just sitting quietly all count.
• Repeat the story. Like rewatching a favorite show, hearing it again can help deepen understanding.
These cards aren’t meant to “fix” grief—but to gently make space for it in a way that feels safe and compassionate.
Additional Support Tips
• Stick to consistent routines when possible
• Accept all forms of grief—scripting, silence, tears
• Use visual tools like picture schedules
• Remember: play is how kids process the world
Grief looks different for every child, neurodivergent or not. With tools like Flutter-Bye Road, we can support kids in ways that feel natural, meaningful, and affirming.
To find out more about the Flutter-Bye Road Grief Story Cards or to purchase a set, visit thisishappytown.com/shoppe/flutter-bye-road
Karina Haholy is a School Bereavement Liaison at Billy’s Place, a grief support nonprofit in Peoria, Arizona, and a passionate advocate for neurodivergent children. She is the mom of Henry, who inspired the creation of the Flutter-Bye Road Grief Story Cards. Karina draws on both her personal experience and professional expertise to help families navigate grief with compassion, creativity, and understanding.
