Every July, I start seeing the same videos on social media. You know the ones. They basically say that if you’re excited for your kids to go back to school, you must not actually enjoy being a parent. Maybe it’s meant to be funny, but I know plenty of moms who quietly carry that guilt. They start wondering if something is wrong with them because they’re counting down the days until the first day of school.
So let me say this, especially if you need to hear it: No, you’re not a bad parent for looking forward to school starting.
As a mom of five kids ranging from 1 to 13 years old, I can honestly say I’ve loved this summer. We’ve had late nights around the fire making s’mores, spontaneous ice cream runs, pancake breakfasts that happened closer to lunch than breakfast, slow mornings, farmers market walks, splash pad trips, library visits, and all the little moments that make summer feel different. We haven’t been ruled by the clock, and I’ve loved having my kids home.
But as summer has gone on, life hasn’t slowed down just because school is out. Both my husband and I have gotten busier with work as bills continue to increase, and that’s changed the dynamic in our house. Instead of spending the day planning our next adventure, I’m trying to answer emails while keeping five kids entertained. I’m trying to meet deadlines while also making lunch, breaking up arguments, finding missing shoes, and reminding someone—for what feels like the hundredth time—that their little sister doesn’t want to be picked up. Then don’t even get me started on the endless laundry, dishes, and meal prepping that is required each week.
It’s not that my kids are doing anything wrong. They’re just being kids. They’re bored. They have endless energy. They want my attention because I’m home, and I’m their mom. I wouldn’t expect anything different.
But there’s only so many indoor activities that hold their attention before someone starts wrestling in the living room. Only so many library trips, splash pad afternoons, board games, bike rides, and craft projects before everyone—including me—is ready for something different. We’ve worked hard to avoid spending the summer parked in front of screens, but entertaining five kids of completely different ages while working full time from home is a challenge. Some days it feels like I’m failing at both jobs.
I think what makes this season especially hard for so many families is that the “village” everyone talks about simply doesn’t exist for us. We don’t have grandparents keeping the kids during the week. Hiring a nanny or paying for childcare isn’t realistic, and affordable summer camps either weren’t available in our small town or filled almost immediately. The few recreation programs nearby only lasted a couple of hours a day, which doesn’t exactly solve the problem when you’re trying to work a full-time job.
So we’ve done what most parents do–we’ve figured it out one day at a time. We’ve adjusted our work schedules, traded off responsibilities, stayed up later to finish projects after the kids were asleep, and done our best to make sure our kids still had a summer they’ll remember. And they have.
That’s why it bothers me when people suggest that looking forward to school somehow means you don’t enjoy your children. For me, it’s the exact opposite.
School doesn’t replace family time—it helps our family function.
It means regular mornings instead of everyone waking up at a different time. It means seeing friends they’ve missed all summer, teachers who pour into their lives, learning new things, riding the bus, and coming home excited to tell me about their day. It means my husband and I can focus during the workday instead of constantly feeling like we’re splitting ourselves in half. It means family dinners aren’t rushed because we’re trying to catch up on everything we couldn’t accomplish during the day. And yes, it means bedtime comes a little easier because everyone is happily worn out.
None of that means I didn’t love summer. It just means I’m ready for the next season.
Motherhood is full of seasons like that. We can be incredibly grateful for where we are while still looking forward to what’s next. I can cherish every late-night campfire, every messy popsicle, every slow morning and every spontaneous adventure we squeezed into these past few months while also being excited to buy school supplies, pack lunches, and settle back into a routine.
Those feelings don’t compete with each other. They can both be true.
So if you’ve been feeling guilty because you’re counting down the days until school starts, let go of that guilt. Loving your children doesn’t mean loving every moment equally. It doesn’t mean pretending that every season is easy. Sometimes the most honest thing we can say is that we’ve had a wonderful summer, we’ve made beautiful memories, and we’re all ready for what’s next.
And I have a feeling our kids are, too.
