HomeArticlesThe Do’s and Don’ts of Being a First Time Grandparent

The Do’s and Don’ts of Being a First Time Grandparent

There is great excitement, anxiety, and wonderful new opportunities in becoming a first-time grandparent. If it is your daughter/daughter-in-law, try to be there for their concerns in carrying a baby. Try not to share stories that will frighten them about your experiences or family/friends’ birthing experiences.

Ask the couple “How can I be there for you?” If the delivery of the birth is personal, do not impose your need to be in the delivery room with them; only join if you are asked. Refrain from telling anyone the news without explicit permission, usually up until about the three-month range.

Once the baby arrives, remember that each mother experiences postpartum symptoms differently, so try to be very supportive.

Here are some additional suggestions to think about:

  • Remember, you are not the parent, you are the grandparent. Keep a healthy, non-judgmental, and smooth relationship with your children.
  • Ask if they want items for the baby’s room, and let them choose, ensuring that you’re focusing on them.
  • Ask if they are interested in wanting a baby shower; then where, when, and what kind of baby shower they would like to have. Also ensure it is affordable for everyone.
  • Do not have expectations of the baby, since each baby may have a different temperament – there are easygoing, shy, difficult, or combinations of babies’ temperaments.
  • Do not come over unless you are asked to. Don’t knock at their door unexpectedly. Instead, call and ask if they need help with the baby, cleaning their home, or making a meal. Your children should not be waiting on you. Allow them family time to bond in whatever ways they need.
  • Don’t forget to take a CPR, First-Aid Infant/Child course. You may want to look into other classes that teach basic baby skills.
  • Follow their lead or the rules of their home.
  • Do not give advice, or tell them what to do, or how to do things that you did years ago. Make sure they have asked for your advice before you give it.
  • Do not compare yourself or discuss parenting skills to your daughter/daughter-in-law. You need to be respectful of how they want to parent.
  • Soothing your new grand baby may be very challenging. You can try: Rocking the baby in a rocking chair, holding or singing to the baby, learning to properly swaddle the baby, if you’re comfortable, do skin to skin connection, take them out into nature, or get permission to drive them around the block in their car seat.
  • Let bonding happen naturally or organically.

This may be an emotional and reflective time in your life. You are observing your baby having a baby. Allow yourself to think about what your life was like when you gave birth. This may help you to be more empathic to your child, who is going through this for the first time.

Linda Levin M.A.
Linda Levin M.A.https://babyteeneducation.com/
Linda Levin has a dual master’s degree in education and psychology. She is married and a mother of two daughters and five grandchildren. She has been a child and family therapist and educational therapist for over four decades. Linda has taught courses in parenting, education, and psychology for various universities, hospitals, and clinics, as well as developed numerous training programs. Linda is a published author of three educational and psychological books.

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